Another reason some men choose a mail order bride is because they want a more traditional type family life, the kind that prevailed many years ago with the woman staying home and taking care of the house, her husband and raising the kids. They’ve learned they can find that more easily with foreign women.
Meeting a woman online from a foreign country and deciding to marry her is much more accepted today than it was several years ago. Online dating in general continues to increase in popularity and today it’s just as easy to meet someone from the other side of the world as it is to meet someone from the other side of town.
There are a few differences between mail order bride dating sites and general dating sites online. The mail order bride sites are generally filled with women who are actively seeking marriage-minded men. Sometimes referred to as marriage agencies, this type site is being seen more frequently every year.
A mail order bride is not the right choice for every man, of course, as some men don’t like the scrutiny that often accompanies the choice to marry a foreign woman. Her family may want to ‘put him under the microscope’ before they give their approval.
It’s very important that you be open minded if you’re considering marriage with a foreign woman. Her culture must be respected and honored; even in the areas it’s different from your own. She may accept your customs and beliefs in time, but don’t expect her to completely abandon her own.
In many of the countries popular for mail order brides, the decision to marry involves the bride’s whole family. In many case, you’ll be expected to visit her country and meet her family. If she lives in a very small town or village, you may even be introduced to the village leaders, since the people of the town highly regard the opinions of the leaders.
Be prepared that there are still narrow-minded people that will doubt the sincerity of your new bride’s intentions. They may think she only wants to escape her own country, or just seeks citizenship. It will be your responsibility to set their thinking straight and defend your wife if the situation warrants it.
Some of those same closed-minded folks may think you decided on a mail order bride because you wanted a sex-slave or someone to keep your house clean and cook your meals without complaining. Your love and respect for your bride should be enough to put such nonsense to rest.
Obviously, these views are not main stream, and are only held by those people who still believe the outdated stereotype of mail order brides. But if you should encounter such prejudice, you need to be prepared to deal with it.
In fact, men who marry foreign women tend to have longer, happier marriages, according to studies that have been done. But it’s a good idea to be aware of some of the issues you may face in addition to the differences in culture, before you decide if a mail order bride is the right choice for you.
When you’ve decided you can handle whatever issues come your way, spend time getting to know a woman before you ask her to leave her family and her country behind. While it’s an awesome responsibility to take on a mail order bride, those who have done so have said it’s the best decision they’ve ever made.
Tags: Dating Sites, Mail Bride, Marriage Agencies, Right Choice, Village Leaders
There is no denying that love has been known to spark in strange circumstances, but one has to wonder if its’ love, or some other motive that causes men and women to enter into a ‘mail order bride’ relationship. Go to any Russian brides website (and there are hundreds of them, some legitimate, some not), and you will notice several commonalities. Each site states that, “Russian women are extremely open-minded, and tolerant of most anything”, and every woman pictured on each website could easily be a beauty contest winner. These certainly are attractive selling points.
Oops, we aren’t supposed to talk about selling! It is stressed that Russian woman are not selling themselves through these services, but are merely looking to find the man of their dreams so they can please him in every way possible. These Russian beauties don’t mind living on a tight budget, will work if hubby wants, or will happily stay home and care for home and family, free of selfish career goals.
These women all appear to be highly educated, yet they are not opposed to marrying a man much older and less attractive than they themselves. Russian women are represented as being accustomed to male domination and sexism, so they will not be bothered by those attitudes from their foreign husbands. They are touted to be extremely tolerant with an emotional temperature well below that of their western counterparts. Long-suffering and patient, Russian woman never lose their cool, even if their spouse has many mistresses!
So why do these miraculous, low maintenance creatures need a foreign husband? Unfortunately the women out-number the men in Russia (100 women for every 88 men), and single women are treated with only minimal respect in the Russian culture. If you are not married by age 25, it is unlikely that you will ever marry. Rather than to be doomed to a life of disrespect and despair it is preferable to fly off with a stranger in hopes of finding marital bliss abroad.
Do we really have to ask why Western men might like to marry a woman who has limited English skills and comes advertised as a Barbie Doll who cooks and cleans? Ah, if only it were real!
The fact is, often times it isn’t real. The ‘free’ listing on a Russian bride website may come with a myriad of hidden costs that present themselves later down the road. Some Russian brides are rumored to be fronts for the Russian Mafia. Other Russian bride websites have no brides at all. Men think they are corresponding with the lovely Anna in St. Petersburg, when indeed they are sending handsome pictures of themselves to Ralph in Cleveland and being scammed out of airfare.
Russian women are advertised as ‘trim’ when a more accurate descriptor might be ‘starved’. Health problems linked with poor nutrition and generational alcoholism is never mentioned. Abuse, abandonment, and poverty apparently have no detrimental impact on these women, and they always arrive in the USA unimpaired mentally and physically despite any deprivation or torment they may have suffered as children and young adults. Pretty unbelievable, huh?
Yes, the entire concept upon which ‘Russian brides’ is built is unbelievable. Talk with any Russian male and ask why Russian women want to come to the US and marry American men. Most will agree that it is because Russian women want to live like American women, not because they are just dying to hook up with an overweight middle-aged American man. This means that once settled in America, beautiful Swetlana may decide she wants to pursue a career, delay child rearing, and take long vacations in the sun.
Darn, there is just no truth in advertising anymore.
Tags: Career Goals, Mail Bride, Russian Woman, Strange Circumstances, Western Counterparts
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